Short fiction about being caught gay in the 80s. - Red Noise Collective How Does It Feel? The boys had come from the beach, were washing up in the bathtub just off the deck. By eight, Evan could already ride the big waves, had his own custom-made five-foot board, was on the way to becoming a pro surfer, like all his brothers. Darren was not a surfer, pro or otherwise. He body-surfed or boogie-boarded alongside the boys in the deep water or waited on the beach with the girls. Evan started it, that gorgeous touching and trying in the sudsy warm bathtub. Darren had hesitated. He was two years older and more aware of his wrongness in relation to the order of things. But ultimately, the holy symmetry of it compelled him: A body separate, but so like his own. They found a way to float and do it, breathing shallow to keep their lungs from sinking, toes and fingers clinging to the glazed blue Mexican tiles above the water line. Are you guilty if you don’t know what you...